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January 31st, 2008
04:55 pm - A little ingenuity and a lot of 4-letter words (x-posted)
..that's what it takes to fulfill your 7-year-old son's request for his birthday cake. Last year was a simple 9", 2-layered cake decorated a la Spiderman. This year, he kicked it up a notch. He wanted a fire truck. Yea, I laughed too. But because I love my kids, I accepted the challenge. Cake decorating is not something I will ever (or could ever) do professionally, nor is it something I would do for someone not biologically contracted to love it regardless, but for a mom trying to make her kids' birthdays memorable, it'll do.
This is how it all started:
With a knife, some strawberry preserves, and buttercream, it looked like this and I was officially worried.
At this point, it needed to chill and so did I. The next morning (this one to be exact), I set out to make the fire truck red icing. If you have never had the displeasure of trying to turn a vat full of lily white icing red, let me acquaint you with the process. First, you painstakingly make a batch of uber delicious buttercream icing. Then you rummage through your cabinet to find the vial of "Christmas Red" gel coloring from Wilton - because, you know, liquid color will not work. Into a working bowl goes the beautiful, painstakingly prepared buttercream. Into same bowl is poured the entire vial of gel coloring . From the bowl stares back at you the most heinous shade of neon hot pink you've ever seen. You taste the once delicious buttercream and gag. Unbeknownst to you, gel food coloring tastes like the south end of a north-bound donkey. Chewing liberal amounts of cinnamint gum and using words that make you very glad your children are not home, you trek to the store for the "No-taste" version of Red Food Coloring Gel. The lady at the bakery laughs at you because your fingers are stained neon hot pink. And your lips are too. You look hot. So back you go to try it again, and just because you refuse to ruin another batch of delicious buttercream, you buy icing in a canister. Really. Hedge your bets.
So I'm back home and mix up the color. It's not too bad. Still forgot to put on gloves. Now I have matching red stains on my fingers. After liberal application of firetruck red to the cake, it now looks like this and I am giddy.
I figured at this point, wheels would make it look really cool. So I took the (store bought) black icing (trust me on this one, just buy it), covered some cookies, and stuck them to the cake. Using icing in a tube and my trusty Wilton tips, some detailing was done to this end:
Using more icing, M&M's, Dots candies, Twizzlers, and Jelly Bellys, I completed the project and did the happy dance. Seriously. I did.
 
In summary:
Pan, icing, candies, cake ingredients to fulfill your son's cake wish: $35.
Realizing that "no-taste" gel food colorant is a must have: $10.
Fines to The Potty Mouth Jar while building cake: $26
Seeing the joy in his eyes when he sees his cake:
 Priceless.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) giddy
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September 15th, 2006
10:16 am - An affair to remember
His name was Jack. He was short but powerful, fluid in his movements, and boy did he have a way of making me forget all others before him. I sought him out after a night of pouring out of heart-felt professions that culminated in me saying goodbye - yes, that kind of goodbye.
I was happy to find Jack seemingly waiting for me, ready to take me into his potent embrace and allow me to forget the pangs of unrequited feelings. I needed his no-nonsense manner, his one-tracked purpose. He was extraordinarily skilled in his craft, a deftness for which I was exceedingly grateful. It was quick, relatively, and I was left dazed, my head whirling, laughter springing forth from my gut, but no pain.
I woke the next morning with little memory of the night before, only a vague recollection of finding Jack and knowing where he'd take me. Slowly, I began to reconstruct the puzzle from translucent memories and email logs. As I plundered through the kitchen looking for something to take the edge off my headache, I caught a glimpse of my night's companion, and I could tell he spent himself entirely for my benefit. It was the first time I had ever sought so vehemently the comfort of someone like him. It was an awkward moment as I vascillated between being ashamed of my perfunctory actions and being thankful that he took me with such exquisite skill. Without much fanfare, I ushered what remained of him into oblivion and closed the door.
Thank you, Mr. Daniels, for your incredible prowess.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) amused
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December 23rd, 2005
12:07 pm - Comical appraisal of womankind?
Lessons from Charles Schulz
I think Charles Schulz had something to say about the nature of women. Why do I say this? Because Charlie Brown endlessly fell for Lucy's proclamations of reformation. When CB was so masterfully brought back into Lucy's realm of influence, persuaded to once again let her be his placekick holder, the dance would start again. Inevitably what happened? Trust was regained, a poor chap was once again encouraged to take a chance and then it happened as so many times before - Lucy yanked his balls (metaphorically?) right away from him. And yet, she could so easily and effortlessly regain favor with him.
Mr. Schulz had the right idea with Snoopy - go through life with your mouth shut, pretend you are a hero, and once in a while, do The Happy Dance.
Current Mood: amused
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December 22nd, 2005
08:31 pm - Snapshot
At this exact moment, all three of my munchkins are on the floor playing "Monster Truck" which entails a large tonka truck crashing into a much smaller plastic truck along with the cry "Nyah, nya, na-na-nya, MONSTER TRUCK! ."
But they are all playing together without incident and laughing heartily.
Current Mood: busy
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November 14th, 2005
11:39 pm - Could it get any better?
You're a Slytherdor! You are a natural leader and
have the personality to back it up. Often
people are hesitant to approach you because
they feel that you will reject them. You have a
bit of a temper but most of the time you're
able to keep it in check; however when you are
really pissed off, people better watch out. In
your life you have a lot of things you want to
accomplish, whether it's for yourself or
another cause. You can be determined in trying
to pursue this goal but your morals are too
steady to allow you to be absolutely ruthless.
You don't let many people know this, but you
actually like the idea of chivalry (but you try
to keep this buried) and you try to live your
life with honor. You don't back away from tough
decisions. Your weakness is that sometimes you
can be arrogant, you forget about the 'lesser
people' and this leads you to underestimate
your opponents. With the charisma of a
Gryffindor and the ambition of a Slytherin you
can be great in life!
Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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November 12th, 2005
September 7th, 2005
12:05 am - Can someone hit the stop button, please?
So here's my day:
1. Beanie was officially diagnosed with opsoclonus-myoclonus syndrome. You can find out more info (with considerably fewer words than I would put to it) at www.omsusa.org.
2. Found a new table and chairs, in pretty good shape, for $35.
3. Wrecked van on way to get said table and chairs. Sideswiped a car - not just any car, but the car of the girlfriend of the guy from whom I bought the table and chairs. Both vehicles will require repair. So much for selling the van...and there's another $500 gone. Silver lining may be that it will have to be repainted on the passenger side and that just might cover up some of the minor damage that was already there. They were all so nice and gracious about it.
Hmm, it felt a lot worse 3 hours ago. Okay, so I don't have much to complain about. =) Nevermind.
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August 25th, 2005
11:07 pm - On a dime
I met a 20-year-old young woman while Beanie was in the hospital. Her name was Amber and she had 2 kids, a 13-month-old daughter (Reagan), and a 3-month-old son (Clint). For whatever reason, we hit it off pretty well and became instant friends. Reagan, a month or so before, had started having seizure which would cause her to stop breathing during the seizure, and on a couple of occasions, stopped her heart. Pretty scary and the doctors couldn't find a reason for it. About a month ago, Amber, her husband, and the kids moved to North Carolina. Because they were moving into their new place, I hadn't talked to her in a couple of weeks.
She called tonight. It was a collect call. Amber had put Reagan to bed, then put Clint down, then went back to check on Reagan (about 5 minutes lapsed). Reagan was blue and not breathing. Amber grabbed her, started CPR and ran to neighbors' houses to find someone home to call 911. By the time EMS arrived, Reagan had been without oxygen in excess of 10 minutes.
She is technically alive. A machine is breathing for her. She has rudimentary brainstem function. But that is about it. It gets worse, which is incredible. One of the odd things about Reagan's condition is that she metabolized anti-seizure medication REALLY fast, so they were never able to keep her blood levels high enough to thwart the seizures. Well, the new doctors in NC aren't really aware of that, so now Amber is being accused of withholding Reagan's medicine and ultimately causing her impending death. She is not allowed to leave the hospital. She is only allowed to spend time with Reagan if someone else is in the room with her. It's a nightmare. I spent about 30 minutes on the phone crying with her. I cannot even imagine what she is going through. Tomorrow they get the longterm prognosis and will probably be turning off the life support.
Please keep her, Reagan, Josh (husband/dad) in your prayers.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) depressed
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July 7th, 2005
09:27 pm - Ugh
Oh my goodness. I am stress eating something fierce. Over the last 2-3 days, I have eaten about 3/4 of a bag of single-wrapped Kit Kats, 5 snack-size Hershey candy bars, 4 oatmeal cream pies, an apple pie from McDonald's, 3/4 of a box of Wheat thins, a cheeseburger from McDonald's, a large piece of pancetta and parmesan torte, a toaster waffle, about 1/3 cup of chicken makhani (which I made and was quite impressed!), and probably other things that I cannot recall at this moment. Trust me, this is *a lot* of food for me. By the time this is over, I probably will have gained 10 pounds. Couple that with the fact that I have not been to the gym since Saturday and that equals a very unhappy Cara.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/angry.gif) bitchy
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June 16th, 2005
09:57 am - Somewhere over the rainbow...
Beanie had her MRI yesterday and thankfully, everything was negative. The poor baby still cannot walk 2 steps without falling down. Her gait is just so...well, she looks like she's just learned to walk. She was markedly worse this morning with her walking, but I think the upper body tremors have subsided a little. I've done some research on post viral syndrome acute cerebellar ataxia and all sources suggest that we should have seen, or will be seeing soon, resolution to this. Apparently, the antibodies that are formed to fight a viral illness can start attacking the balance center of the brain. This is rare, occurring in only 1 in 250,000-500,000 cases of viral illnesses. The Smith women have a knack at being quite unique, I guess. At least there isn't anything organic going on with her noggin. That's a huge relief.
Our tenants are leaving our house, which leaves us to figure out how to pay the $1100 mortgage. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) divine_cow had some very good suggestions, which are still being taken into consideration. According to our realtor, the market in Leander is really good for sellers, with houses staying listed less than 30 days and she thinks we could get about $30K out of it in the end (profit). Despite this, I think we're going to hang onto the house. Some friends of ours are looking to upsize (they have 4 adults and 1 child living in a smallish 3-bedroom apartment). So I think we're going to split their lease buyout with them (which will save us about $600) and get them into the house.
Other than that, I'm terribly sleep deprived and a real bitch to be around. I finally let the angel kill the lizard, so we'll see what happens with that. See, divine_cow, it just takes me a while to get there.
And many thanks, again, to divine_cow and peculiar_notion for the heads up on saving supper. Some yummy, inexpensive stuff there.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/tired.gif) tired
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June 10th, 2005
10:05 am - Oh Glory Days
So, after 10 weeks of being on the run, Gerbils is once again safely in his habitat. How'd we do this? Starved him until he came out (it took about 2 days). Gabriel nearly cried he was so happy. I'm happy too. In the last 10 weeks, that hamster has become the size of a medium gerbil. He's HUGE. I'm glad to have him back. I like that critter.
Current Mood: happy
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May 27th, 2005
12:08 pm - UGH!
Okay, so I failed getting the rotten meat smell from the carpet. I'm so upset with myself for not just taking the friggen cooler out myself. Why did I have to wait for him to do it? Now my apartment smells like dead animals. Out!, Nature's Miracle, and Febreze have all failed to dampen the stench. I guess I'll deal with it when I get back from Houston. Ugh.
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08:50 am - Oh the things that bring joy
Insomnia hit me hard last night. I was up until 3 a.m. But in that time, I managed to finally slay the laundry beastie (save for the actual folding and putting away part), built a trap for Gerbils (the hamster has been free-range for a little over 2 months now), cleaned the oven (it's BLUE?!), cleaned my bathroom (YUCK!), naired my legs (Warning: Nair + plastic bathtub = Slip-n-Slide, and I have a nice bruise on my hip to prove it), stripped the sheets from and re-made my bed, successfully removed the smell of rotting meat from my carpet (Note to self: Sometimes, it is just better to do it yourself than ask and wait), cleaned the kitchen, and worked at my paying job.
Chris and the kids finally arrived in Mississippi around 10:30 last night. They stopped every couple of hours to let the kids play which I think helped break up the trip for them.
I must say, I love my family, but sleeping until you wake up is joyous. I apparently require exactly 5 hours 20 minutes of sleep.
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May 18th, 2005
12:08 am - For the love of money...
I saw Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room tonight. It's such a sad story of how greed can destroy you from the inside out. There is the brilliant exception of Ken Lay - who will be more than likely spared from the public flogging due to his inextricable entanglement with the family of the current leader of the free world. And poor Ken and Linda Lay - $300 million dollars that they cashed in 3 years ago is "gone. It's just gone." Mmmhmm. Sure it is. I'm absolutely certain you two are living in abject squalor and eating Ramen noodles. Which makes me wonder if they had to let their residence at The Huntingdon go? They owned an entire floor there, you know. Wait, let me grab my box of Kleenex...to wipe the shit off my shoes. Two words, Linda Lay: ACTING CLASSES.
I had no idea (well maybe a vague recollection) that Enron orchestrated the rolling blackouts that devastated California.
Oh, there were already Star Wars fanatics camped on the side of the building with a projector and screen watching the preceding 5 installments. I was amused.
Hey you - you know who you are - get the fuck out of my dreams. I'm tired of seeing your face every time I close my eyes. Shoo! Go. Bye. Buh-bye now.
Watching the movie tonight did do one thing - it made me really excited about this MBA business.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/blah.gif) blank
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May 8th, 2005
08:15 pm - Psych!
There was a knock on the door late this morning. I, being a good and concientious mother, peered through the peephole before opening the portal and inviting the outside in on my children. There stood a lady holding a lovely bouquet of flowers. "OOOH! He ordered me flowers!" I thought. "Those are some serious brownie points!" I opened the door expecting to hear, "Cara Smith? These were sent to you by your thankful husband because you are the world's most incredible mother." Instead, I hear this: "Do you know the girl who lives in that [pointing to neighbor's door] apartment - Becky?" "Yes." "Could I leave these here for her? She isn't home. I will leave a note on the door telling her they are here." "Uhm, sure. I'd be happy to let these beautiful flowers for some other woman from her adoring and thankful husband sit on my counter and mock me until she returns to collect them among a barrage of 'oh how beautifuls' and 'I can't believe he's so thoughtful...'. Not a problem. Have a great day." I didn't really say that last part, but trust me, that was what went through my head.
It's at least slightly amusing now.
Current Mood: amused
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May 4th, 2005
12:06 am - I don't care what color anger is
Counseling did not go well today. Tim the Sorcerer focused way too much on me today and my apparent unhealthy way of controlling my anger. Personally, I thought refraining from knocking the shit out of the person in front of you would be construed as healthy. As it turns out, I'm wrong. Who knew? Chris provoked me during a "role play" (which I LOATHE - there was a reason I didn't LARP, people) and I started in, then stopped mid sentence, took a breath, made a little arrrgh! noise and calmed straight down. See? Self-control and restrained - GOOD! No, Cara. Bad, bad, bad, Cara. WTF? So Tim the Sorcerer asks me what happened to my anger and I said, "I put it back in its box so it couldn't get out of control." He started in on the fact that it was good to let anger out, it was a safe environment there, etc etc etc. Well, that's all well and good, but I have 30 years of suppression to overcome. Not gonna happen in 45 minutes, buckoo. He asked me if the anger was in the room and I had some snide thought that I didn't relay. Then asked me what it looked like? Was it big? Small? Hiding? On top of me? Long story short, turns out that I jumped on the all-too-used "it's my parents' fault" bandwagon and protested loudly about that. I flat-out told T-t-S that I thought that was bullshit. Blaming someone else for your crap negates your responsibility for it. Blame is immature. Nobody can MAKE you feel anything. That is a choice you make. They provide the stimulus, you create the feeling. So he pressed the issue and I relented to his game. He helped me reframe 'blame' as an attempt to understand how my parents' choices molded me into the person I am today. He also got me to realize that I'm rather pissy about being stoic - that I'm pissy that I believe it was required of me, it was an unspoken rule my dad had for me. You must, above all else, control yourself. T-t-S asked me after I told him that my dad's restraint and stoicism was something I admired what it got my dad - suppressing his emotions all those years. "It got him an 8-vessel bypass, leukemia, and dead."
So I'm afraid of it doing the same thing to me. On the flipside, I am afraid of letting out my emotions, losing control of them, and ending up like my lunatic mother. Whatever.
I have this incessant need to always better myself. Maya Angelou said once, "You do what you know, and when you know better, you do better." I took this to heart. So when I notice something about myself that should be tweaked, I set out to do it. I have implemented boundaries recently. I have learned to say no. I have tried to be more mindful of other people's attitudes and situations. I have to say that so far, it hasn't gotten me anywhere but a heap of shit, but I'm sure it'll all work out. Human nature is such a suck-ass thing. Why does it have to be so complicated?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/confused.gif) confused
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May 2nd, 2005
05:59 pm - Misunderstandings
There is little that sucks worse than a misunderstanding that causes strife. I'm sorry we've gotten to this place. =(
Current Mood: crappy
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May 1st, 2005
08:28 pm - Not only will I join Kristi in not receiving a Nobel Prize for Motherhood....
....I might very well be granted the Shittiest Mom of the Year award. Why? Because currently, my daughter is in the back room, screaming for me, banging on the closed door. Two weeks after trying to get her to go to sleep on her own and not being able to leave the room, things still SUCK. Tonight, she screamed like she was being stabbed for 25 minutes - and I was still in the room. After 20 minutes on the bed screaming, she decided to climb over onto the king-size bed. I put her back in hers. More hysterics. Finally, after 25 minutes of her just sitting there throwing a Texas-size fit, I decided to get up, walk out, and close the door. I figure I will go back in there in 10 minutes and put her back in her bed, then in 20-30 minutes, do the same.
I feel like a horrible mom, but nothing was working to get her to go to sleep sooner than 20 minutes into it and with us sitting in the room. This is not acceptable behavior. (tm SuperNanny).
So, yea, bring on that fuckin' award. I feel rather deserving of it currently.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/shock.gif) distressed
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April 30th, 2005
07:12 pm - Happy Anniversary to Me.
Today is the one-month anniversary of me working out 3 times a
week. So far, I've not missed a 3-time week. Yay me.
I've yet to see the scales move in the correct direction and nothing is
falling off, so I'm kinda disheartened, but I know it'll pay off.
Of course, it would help immensely if I didn't throw down half a bag of
peanut butter lover's reese's cups. Whooops.
Today was a busy day. This morning, we braved the cold, rainy
weather to head to Georgetown so the boys could participate in a
fishing derby. When we left, it was raining and 47 degrees.
We caught nothing in the 3 hours we were out there, but the boys had
fun. Chris managed to catch an entire tree. We were
impressed.
Then we headed down to Eeyore's birthday party. I tried calling
divine_cow to see where they were camped out, but
no answer. She called earlier and I didn't hear my phone
ring. Dammit. I hunted for her Superyard XT while we were
there but alas, no see. The Drum Circle was so cool.
I'm having issues with my phone. peculiar_notion called me yesterday. I had my cell on me ALL day - but I didn't hear it ring. Not pleased. I'm sorry, Kit and Hayley!
Went down to Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse to work last night. Second time I've done that. It was nice.
I have to say that I've stuck Chris with the kids at hectic times in
the last week. He's fed them dinner every night this week.
I don't appreciate him enough when he does those things. Of
course, I am not appreciated when I do them ALL the time, so I guess I
overlook one week. I shouldn't. Parable of the laborers and
all.
I love the mild burn I have going on after a good workout. Tom is
on my case to sleep as I'm managing about 4-1/2 hours a night. No
wonder I'm so flippin' exhausted.
I talked to my adoptive Dad today. I haven't seen him in almost 2
years, so it was soooooo nice to see him. I talked to him about
going to medical school and that I'm having a hard time deciding which
route to go - paramedic training or MBA. He's a very wise man and
played devil's advocate well enough to lead me to a decision. I
am going to pursue my MBA. Being a paramedic does seem like the
most logical thing to do because it will give me real-world medical
experience. However, I have to see what will work with the
lifestyle I have NOW and my ass sitting in classes for 30 hours a week
isn't it. With my MBA, I can take most of my classes online,
still hold my job, and not have to worry about where my kids will
go. Having all three of them at home this summer, doing a
full-time job, preparing to take my GMAT, doing CARES stuff,
maintaining my 'me time,' and working on keeping everything
together. If for some reason, medical school doesn't work out, I
will have my MBA in healthcare management and can still work in the
medical field and make a decent wage.
Have I mentioned lately how blessed I feel to have such wonderful kids,
a great best friend in Chris, and fantastic, strong, beautiful female
friends the likes of which I have never known? If not, I
should.
I think I'm going to go bake my kids some cookies.
Current Mood: tired
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